Once upon a time I had a great entry planned to help savor the vegan party, but life intervened.
Deep in the Ground helped capture some of it.
Meanwhile I try to get through each day and it becomes increasingly difficult. Current roadblocks:
- incessant eating and six empty wine bottles caused me to gain back 7 pounds. took me about 5 months to lose those fucking 7 pounds and two weeks to gain them back. eating is comfort and escape from my otherwise hellish days, but the cost is too high. so I'm stumbling back onto plan. sucks.
- okay, i'm hormonal. REALLY hormonal. raw to the bone. that's enough, then there's the over-the-top issue of being on the rag with a toilet that keeps breaking
- i try not to be judgmental, but it's so easy... i do have high expectations, i admit. how hard is it to be an organized, professional, intelligent person? i didn't realize these qualities are so rare, but none of the employees i've hired in the last two years were in possession of that winning combo. i'm really fucking over being short-staffed and stupid-staffed. tomorrow i kick some ass.
- my son battles me to go to sleep. kicking, screaming, hitting and all. bed is a war zone and i am weary.
- so many people need me and i have so little to give. wife, son, family and friends all deserve so much and i offer only emptiness.
- at my recent visit to the gyn, i had the joy of having the male doctor admit that the female doctor in their practice induces labor too early, leading to c-section in about 65% of the cases. thanks, she induced me and i've got the scar. intuitively i knew we shouldn't have induced, didn't really need him to confirm that for me. open wounds. (Why I Love My Male Gynecologist is a great post for another day when I'm capable of humor.)
Never been to the Everglades, but I'm knee-deep in the muck of a swamp that goes on forever.
