The Week that Was

Since last Sunday I began hoping that I can make it to last night. There were so many important things to do in those 6 days. It started with Mr. Man's birthday on Monday. It's hard to believe that it was 8 years ago when he came into our life. He got promoted in his Poekoelan class and got his second stripe. I skipped my own classes so we could have his birthday dinner and cake. You'll catch some fun video I shot of Mr. Man after school that night.

Tuesday I left work early to help the Green Team at Mr. Man's school present a workshop on gardening and composting. We worked together to rescue the upper elementary classroom's worm compost bin. Then it was off to the studio to run my holds and personal form with my attackers for my gold sash test. We practiced for about an hour and I cleaned the school a bit, but I was tired and went to bed early.

Wednesday was more cleaning at school and then my last class before my gold sash test. It was hard to believe that the time had arrived for my 3 hour test, but somehow I retained a sense of calm about the whole thing. The most stressful thing was making sure all the cleaning was finished before the test and recruiting others to help with the set up.

We made it and when the test began Thursday night I still had a sense of calm. It was a large test--8 people testing total. There were a lot of people watching and participating. This was my first experience with a long test and I had no sense of time. Much of it seemed to fly by. I was very happy with the experience overall. I stayed calm and confident through everything until I got to the fighting section. I faced two aggressive fighters who really came after me and I had a huge emotional release. It's really hard to fight and cry at the same time! Black belt teachers kept pulling me off to the side to give me tips and I felt like I was trying, but it was the only time I wanted to just stop and give up. I got paired up with another testing student for my last fight and my black belt personal trainer gave me a huge lift before the fight and reminded me to have fun. That final fight was probably the best one for me and a great end to the test. It's hard to believe that I did everything that I did during the test and it was such a wonderful experience. It feels like a huge milestone in my training and I can't wait to begin training for my next rank.

Mr. Man stayed for part of my test, but he and the sitter headed home to go to bed at 8:30. I was so happy to have my wife there, watching for the whole time. We walked home in the rain, savoring time alone to talk about the evening. After a nice warm shower, I stepped out of the bathroom to find the cats chasing each other and one of them knocking many glass items down off the top of the bookshelf. Thus began the picking up of glass and sweeping and vacuuming up glass at 11:30 at night.

Friday was a great day for me. I took the day off from work so I could prepare for Mr. Man's birthday party. After taking him to school, I came home and got on my bike to go to the bulk food store. I carried so much home on my bike and it's uphill. Oiy, what a hike. The rest of the day was busy with errands, tax preparation and a rendezvous with my loves for dinner and last minute groceries.

Mr. Man had a Lego Party for about 14 of his friends on Saturday. I did hours of prep for this party--planning activities and sorting legos and making cupcakes, frosting and gathering toppings for kids to build their own cupcakes. What fun! The kids seemed to have fun and Mr. Man seemed happy.

Now it's Sunday and every stress-inducing thing this week is behind me, quite successfully. I feel such a sense of relief and satisfaction. Who knew that something so difficult could be so satisfying and fun?

Recent Events in Pictures

For our 16th anniversary, my wife and I did what Oregon residents can now do - register your relationship. So romantic! The city employee in his jean shorts and sneakers handed us this lucky certificate:

Mr. Man cut off all his hair. The green mohawk was temporary, however.

One week of his summer camp was unexpectedly canceled, wreaking havoc on our work lives. However, I worked from home one day and in the afternoon I took him to the amusement park at the bottom of the hill. Even though it's in walking distance, this is the first time we've gone since moving here two years ago. It's great fun! Here's Mr. Man on the family rollercoaster. Notice the position of his hands.


Now look what he does when a cute girl asks if she can ride with him and dares him to keep his hands up the whole time!


Then came the first of the nieces. Welcome Molly Elizabeth!



Visiting Molly and her parents meant spending 4th of July weekend in Seattle. Mr. Man insisted on visiting the Fremont Troll.


and picking the troll's nose.


We played on a super cool playground.


And visited our friends J and Z where we ate at an awesome vegan sandwich shop. This is dessert.

Si, Se Puede

Yes, I can walk past my corporate office carrying this sign in the May Day March.


And yes, I did! And as I walked past the building, some people who know me saw me. I was giddy.

Mike Doughty Rocks

Yesterday my wife learned that Mike Doughty was playing a set for free at a local record shop. The whole fam was totally tripping. Mike Doughty is one of Mr. Man's favorite artists and he loves rocking out and singing along, particularly "Bustin' Up a Starbucks".

The store was of the old-fashioned, independent music seller variety, not your corporate mall experience. Mike and Scrap sat up in the balcony and we lined the walls of the store. Notice the Keep Portland Weird banner in the background.


It was hot and the music jamming and it reminds me that I haven't been to a live show since Snakelady Librarian watched Mr. Man while we caught a Melissa Ferrick show back in Michigan almost 3 years ago. Sad.

Mike played many of our favorites, songs off the new album and some we hadn't heard before. It was a blast. Mr. Man was too hot, was bummed that there wasn't room to run and dance and was dismayed that the songs didn't sound like they do on the recording. Clearly, I need to get him to more live shows.

After a bit of cooling off outside, Mr. Man was game to go back inside for the autograph and a snapshot with Mr. Doughty himself. Ola, they are both so damn cute.

To the Coast

Mr. Man's 7th birthday came and he really wanted to go to the Coast. So I googled "Oregon coast nature" and I found Ocean Haven. I signed us up for the first family vacation we've taken since Mr. Man joined our family (not counting Festival).

That's the place - right there. Notice there's nothing nearby - no bustling tourist traps, no hotels. Notice that I've taken the picture from the beach. This place was heaven. And they compost our food scraps and recycled our tin/plastic. I loved vacationing at a place that shared our values.



From the kitchen with the skylight, I could see the ocean as I cooked.

This was where we ate our meals - overlooking the ocean.

This is where Mr. Man slept and where I knit. The roar of the ocean was constant.

This was the view from the bedroom where my wife and I slept.



This was the path down to the beach.



At the end there was no fence, we just walked along the rocks, holding on to the rope, then stepped down the rocky slope to the sand.


We went down to the beach in all weather, although the weather was pretty nice.


This was the closest we got to a sunset.

When we left to come back, we stopped at Cape Perpetua at high tide to see the spouting horn and devil's churn. Basically it's a very rocky shore, with channels worn in where the water comes rushing in at high tide. It was pretty impressive.


Here's the spouting horn. See that tall puff, that happens after the wave crashes, because the water has gone into a cave and puffs out the top.

We stopped by the Yaquina Bay Lighthouse as we drove home. Somewhat interesting, but a lousy historical movie that ended with a gruesome ghost story. Nice.

While only 3 days long, it was the best vacation ever.

Independence

Today is the last day I will ever log into Blackboard. My undergraduate degree is complete.

Some Things Don't Change

My week has unraveled, I have an impossible amount of homework this week, we need to prepare our taxes and I'm generally under a hair-pulling amount of stress. One thing remains unchanged: I still make my son a mean lunch.



Tomorrow he eats cinnamon almond buttered sweet potatoes, orange wedges cut the way he trained me, Mrs. May's yummy pecan clusters and almond butter and jam stuffed mochi.

Now, if the universe listens to me, I'll get through all this work and have really good sex - all in the next 5 days.

Points, The King and The Snow

My wife and I got back on plan at the new year and have committed ourselves to losing the weight we gained back over the latter half of last year. We're back to counting points and playing the food game, as we explain it to Mr. Man. I'm re-learning that it's tricky being vegan and counting points on WeightWatchers. The guide books that provide point values for food include everything from bear meat to squirrel meat, but it's a crap shoot to determine the points value for mochi or homemade seitan. The other thing I'm re-learning is that I'll save a lot of money by not buying espresso drinks everyday. Damn, the calories and dollars I wasted over the last year!

I've been in a cooking frenzy again since we did blowout shopping last weekend. I made my first homemade calzones stuffed with seitan and spinach. The fruit and nut bars I made turned out to be a good-for-you, no sugar version of a Cliff Bar. I finally found a vegan waffle recipe that works - and turned them into waffle sandwiches for Mr. Man's lunch. My wife made a better version of Riblets by coating our homemade seitan in BBQ sauce and baking. Yum! Tonight I made a Cowboy Meatloaf that was super tasty - a cowboy definitely worth riding. Later on this week's menu are Pigs in a Blanket and Texas Corn Pone Muffins.

We've been instituting PJ Saturdays area here lately. Pretty much only my wife gets her cute ass in the shower. Mr. Man and I alternate between cooking, cleaning and playing. This past Saturday featured the building of a ferris wheel out of K'Nex.



Mr. Man comes home from school with lots of writing practice on little strips of paper. They randomly float around everywhere and over the weekend we recycled some and put some up in his room. Mr. Man chose to tape the word king to himself.



Monday was MLK Day and Mr. Man had no school. Today we woke up to heavy snow and an inch on the ground. I slid my way into work on the bus, which got stuck behind stalled vehicles on the Hawthorne Bridge entry, so I walked across the river and into work. Fortunately, my wife and Mr. Man did not leave the house with me or else they would have arrived at school for a second time only to find school cancelled.

Last week Portland Public Schools closed school for nothing. Today there's heavy snow and PPS doesn't cancel school until 8:15am!!!! Kids are already on their way to school for crying out loud. Tonight PPS has already announced the school closure for tomorrow. I'm happy to write my tuition check for Montessori school if this is the decision-making modeled by public school administrators. Nonetheless, tomorrow marks the third day my wife is home with Mr. Man. We'll see how icy things are and how I get into work tomorrow. All the busses and almost all the cars are chained. The light rail is running all night tonight so that the lines don't ice over. It's a different kind of winter here in the Northwest.

Less and More

Less school. More play.
In 10 days my last semester with two classes ends.

Less work. More vacation.
In 2 days I have a 3-day weekend.

Less head. More body.
Last night I had a date. It involved a hot tub. It was reckless.

Exhilaration

I have a whole other huge post pending about my impressions about my first week of bike commuting. It will come soon enough, but I must write about my Midnight Mystery Ride (MMR) before I forget how amazing it was.

Friday started out pretty ordinary, the regular 5 mile ride to work, although a bit later than usual so I could check out Breakfast on the Bridge. At the end of the day I biked home, fed Mr. Man and put him to bed. I scoped the maps while he fell asleep to plot my best course to the bar where the ride began. I was trying to find the safest route to ride at night. Not only did I have anxiety about finding low-traffic, safe roads, I was quite nervous about biking at night, something I had never done until Friday. After deciding on the route and checking and double-checking my backpack to make sure I had all the gear I needed plus adequate food and party beverage supplies, I took off shortly after 9pm.

The night-time riding was beautiful. The moon was full, although a patch of clouds was moving in. City streetlights are prevalent enough that there's no feeling of being in the dark. I appreciated the freedom of riding over surfaces I could not see. Unlike daytime riding when I'm generally alert to road hazards and glass, the dark freed me from that constraint. I made the 6.25 mile ride to the bar in far less time than I thought I would, and arrived 40 minutes earlier than the meeting time. Since the neighborhood on the surrounding blocks was overwhelming and slightly creepy to me, I elected the scarier option of going into the bar by myself. Fortunately this bar had an outdoor patio where I retreated with my beer in solitude. Not having been in a bar for about 9 months, I forgot how awful they are to be in with the haze of smoke. I continued to peek out into the main area to see if other bikers were appearing, but I didn't see anyone. At about 10:40 I called my wife to express my doubt and announced that in the next 15 minutes I would decide to come home if I didn't find the group. Shortly after that call, I went out to the bar and found 4 people, some of whom had bike helmets on the table. I tentatively approached and asked if they were here for the MMR and indeed they were. Whew. With the main social scariness over, I proceeded to chat with other adults I had never met. (Go me for stepping outside my comfort zone!)

I nursed a beer and chatted with folks for the next hour, as more bikers began to come into the bar. I was frankly surprised by the number and when I inquired with the ride leader how many people normally attended, she said usually about 30-50. About 5 minutes to midnight, a call was made that the ride would soon begin. A small trickle of bikers (in all varieties of fitness and attire) flowed out of the bar onto the sidewalk to gear up and get their bikes. As I went outside, I was astounded by the sheer number of bikers. There were bikes piled up in stacks and there were easily another 50 people waiting outside on the sidewalk who never came inside the bar! There were so many more people than I expected! I couldn't believe it.

We all turned on our lights and got ready to ride. Our leader started off in her SUB. (Sports Utility Bicycle). We were a long line of red and white-flashing bikers. There were mini-bikes and huge, tall bikes and choppers. One of my favorites was a crazy mini-bike rider who came up behind me and yelled, "no hands, one foot" and proceed to speed past me with just one foot on his bike. My other favorite was the biker on an insanely tall bike (his seat was higher than my head) who wore shoes, boxer briefs and a cape that trailed graciously behind him. The only word to describe driving with so many people through the night is exhilirating.

Our route went through town, down to the river and across the Ross Island Bridge with a breathtaking view of the city. We wound our way through downtown. At every turn the riders up front yelled "Right!" or "Left!" as our leader made her moves. At intersections where we encountered a red light, our procession cruised right through. Riders would yell out "Clear!" or "Need a corker!" if there was oncoming traffic. A corker is a rider or two who peel off and block traffic at the intersection as the roughly hundred of us cruise through the red. Can't tell you how good that felt.

We really didn't encounter too much traffic downtown after midnight. There were two times when our group totally enveloped a car on the road in front of us. It was interesting to see the response of the drivers. What can you do, really, when 100 blinking bikers come from behind to surround you? One of the cars was driven by a young woman and her friend, probably on their way to their fun destination for the evening. The driver stopped as we surrounded her, but her friend freaked out. As I passed by I heard her friend yell, "Go left, go left!" in an effort to escape us. When I described this the next day, my family said that it was like water going around a rock in a river. It was an apt description.

We made a stop for some people to pick up food and beer. We continued to weave downtown to the riverfront and suddenly our leader took a sharp left onto a boardwalk-type path down to the riverbank. We all got log-jammed but slowly descended to the river, where a huge campfire was already burning for us. We all laid down our bikes and began to mill about. I sat on the rocks to take it all in. We were on the opposite bank of the river, in a very familiar spot and I never knew this little plot of sandy beach existed. Some people I chatted with earlier at the bar found me and I continued to enjoy conversation, snacks and a little wine until about 2am. It began to mist and then it began to rain. Around 2:30, I decided I needed to get home before I couldn't anymore.

I headed back to my bike, which was totally wet. It was not with dread that I anticipated the dark, lonely, wet ride home. I had easily done my first night-time ride and I was ready for my first rainy ride. I opted for the longer, familiar ride home. As I crossed the Hawthorne Bridge, three pedestrians on the other side whistled and cheered me on. Aside from the crowd outside the bar on Hawthorne (2:30am), the only other few vehicles I encountered were cabs. I had a peaceful, damp ride home and I was so happy.

Night Stage in Portland

Last week was Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, which many of our friends attended. Our family reminisced last week and randomly discussed where the girls would be and what would be happening on the Land. Well tonight it was our turn to enjoy spirit-filled and land-inspired music.

Here in Portland there is a 15-day free music festival in Washington Park. Last Thursday we went to a Taiko drumming concert. On the way to get our seats in the beautiful terraced amphitheater surrounded by a huge rose garden and overlooking the city, we were offered a program by a festival volunteer. I declined, but my wife accepted and perused the program before the concert. Good thing she persisted because she learned that Rhiannon (one of our favorite MWMF performers) was playing tonight!

So we planned ahead and my wife packed a backpack full of essentials - napkins, utensils, blankets and coats. We went to Whole Foods and bought some great food from the deli for dinner. It felt like going to the Night Stage at Festival with all our provisions.

Rhiannon came out and the first syllable that came out of her mouth gave me the chills, just like her sets at Festival. She did some of our favorite songs as well as ones we'd never heard and, of course, her famous improvisation. The audience didn't fill up the amphiteater, allowing Mr. Man plenty of room to run around. We actually got to enjoy the whole concert!

Our commute home on the train and our local bus was beautiful. The sky was dark blue and the city skyline was lit up. Even though we've lived here for 5 months, we've never had the opportunity to see the city at night because we're always putting Mr. Man to bed. Tonight was a rare treat. While we waited for the #70 at Rose Quarter, I snuggled Mr. Man and wrapped him in a blanket to keep him warm. He fell asleep on the bus ride home and I carried him the 4 blocks home.

The dark, cool night embraced us as we headed home to put our son to bed. It definitely felt like Festival to us. For a finishing touch, my wife used her flashlight so she could see to open the front door. You would have thought we were camping in the woods of Michigan.

High Queen and the Wave Piercer

Mr. Man and I rode to the local park, where he likes to climb these sturdy, small trees that resemble rhododendrons. The leaf looks identical, but these are more like trees than bushes. They're everywhere here, but I don't know what they're called. He likes to climb these trees and he does it well. Tonight when he got to his highest perch, he loudly proclaimed, "I am the highest queen!"

I ate lunch (paid for by El Corpo) today on a floating restaurant. Forget that seafood dominated the menu. I enjoyed the sun and bobbing on the soft sway of the river. Nearby on the marina was this cool, space-agey looking small sailing vessel. At least we thought it was a boat - it's unlike any I've ever seen before. Riding home on the bus tonight, I got a better look and saw that it is called Earthrace. Turns out it's a 4-crew, 8-bed, 100% biodiesel, wave-piercing ship traversing the globe. Read more about it. It's super cool - and the GPS system will allow you to track it to our beautiful city.

Release on the Road

So my intentions to post every day since BikerBoy got on the train haven't been realized, as you can tell by now. In short, the days before the trip went like this:

Day 3 - Realization that change was coming. It finally hits me that I have a new job.

Day 4 - Party Day. Mr. Man has 12 ~5yos running screaming through the house for 3 hours for his unbirthday/farewell party. This is followed by a wonderful party thrown for us by friends. Amazing vegan food, drinking and a great grownup time.

Day 5 - Work and Pack. Work and Pack. Stress. Work and Pack. Work and Pack.

Day 6 - Last day of Work. Stress. Work and Pack.

Day 7 - Load and Pack. Clean and Pack. Pack some more. Amazing friends help with all of this.

We were slated to leave early Wednesday morning, but we were delayed because there were more errands and yet more packing. We actually left around noon, just in time to hit Chicago traffic at rush hour. We sat on the highway parking lot for hours and eventually made it to Davenport, Iowa. The last 20 minutes was spent in a horrible storm - huge flashes in the sky, torrential rain and hail. In the morning before leaving Davenport we went to the Mississippi River.

On Thursday, we traveled from Davenport to Omaha. Iowa is beautiful and very sensual. The hotel in Omaha was downtown. The staff was amazingly unhelpful once we realized that the truck wouldn't fit into the underground parking lot. In general the service was very bad. The hotel gave me flashbacks to the hotel in Angel.

We spent the first part of today visiting the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. They have a huge indoor jungle and rainforest exhibit with animals and birds and all sorts of stuff open and all around you. There is also a huge dome with a desert inside it. The aquarium was also very nice. This gave Mr. Man time to have some fun, which was much needed.

Nebraska is not Iowa! Let's talk flat for miles around. It's nice in it's own way - a great wind across the open space, but not much to make the driving easier. We made it from Omaha to Oglalla today. Another big storm front moved in so we were happy to get off the road. When you're out in the open, the storm fronts look huge!!! One cool thing is that Nebraska must be on the migration route for cranes. There were thousands of these birds all around - on the ground, in the sky, etc.

I guess it's Nebraska where there's nothing to do or think about in the great expanse except sex. We were goofy today and the tension among the 4 adults is high. The women of the trip, well, let's just say we communicate. When hotel plans were being made for a 2 bedroom jacuzzi suite, we started thinking of adult options for the group. When that hotel fell through because of the cat, Lovely Librarian Lady devised a plan to give my wife and I some much needed time together.

In perhaps the most irresponsible move since we Mr. Man was born, my wife and I sent BikerBoy and Library Lady to the pool with Mr. Man while we had a much needed quickie(s) to release some energy. It was all very good until BikerBoy returned with Mr. Man for a potty break. Enter lots of giggling and furious attempts to cover the birthday suits. Somehow BikerBoy missed all the planning we had done to orchestrate this event and was quite confused. All went well, the pee break finished and my wife and I got back in the sack. I'm quite relaxed now and can continue into any weather up ahead in the mountains.

Kickass Kids

In the middle of my longing for another baby and their miniature beauty, I was inundated this past weekend by examples of how cool kids are as they grow older and become thoughtful, communicative kids. I think I spent my weekend in one of those Bill Cosby clips where he sits down with kids and just talks to them and the kids say the most profound, hysterical things.

I spent much of my time with Mr. Man this weekend relaxing and staying low-key. I skipped out of work early on Friday for parent teacher conferences and then a long walk on the river trail with Mr. Man. He rode his bike and I walked as fast as possible in a failed attempt to keep up with him. The weather was beautiful and balmy - 70 degrees at the afternoon peak. While he did enjoy speeding off, I love that he stopped to collect a piece of bark and a huge maple leaf and attach them to his bike. He said hello to everyone he passed on the river trail, infecting even the grumpiest runner on the trail. It's a moment burned into my happiness memory bank.

Saturday night we enjoyed some quiet time reading the book Earth From Above, a beautiful collection of vivid photographs of people, animals and landscapes taken from a helicopter. The photographs are accompanied by descriptions of the region, the people or climates. Mr. Man was rightfully dismayed when, after viewing pictures of elephants, whales and a flock of scarlet ibis, he learned that humans were the biggest threat to these animals. (Artifical flowers, people! We kill the scarlet ibis to make artificial flowers!!!) After a few pages on the same theme of humans suck, Mr. Man turned to me and said, "We should give this book to all...hunt--...people who eat meat." He started to say hunters, but changed his mind mid-sentence to stipulate that carnivores should read the book. I don't know whether I'm tickled that he categorizes hunters and carnivores together or that he broadened his understanding of cruelty to include meat-eating.

Sunday I performed at the local health food store and enjoyed all the kids of varying ages who approached me and explored the harp. I invite kids to come up to touch the harp and pluck strings. I like explaining vibration, sound and resonance to the older ones. This day the younger ones were thrilled and excited to play and one exclaimed, "I'm making music!" to his parents. My favorite interaction was with a girl, maybe 8, who has a definite intuitive understanding of music. We discussed octaves and which strings were which musical notes and how my music was printed on a grand staff and how the range of her violin corresponded to the strings on a harp. In the middle of this great conversation, she abruptly states, "Did you know Rosa Parks died a few weeks ago?" I confirmed my knowledge and asked her what she knew about Rosa. She reported that Rosa Parks helped defend the rights of black people. I commented that Rosa was really cool and that she was an example of how we could all be cool, too. As quickly as the topic changed, she was off in search of her mother who was busy shopping.

When I think of Dar Williams' song Teenagers Kick Our Butts, I think of these kids and how they all will, very soon.

In the I-Always-Wanted-To Category

is hiking the Appalachian Trail. I was reminded of my longings to do this when I happily stumbled across just wandering's blog. What a great chronicle of an exciting trek, and I particularly like the Canadian perspective!

I could do the physical exertion thing, but the living, pissing, shitting outside for an extended time would likely be my downfall. (Not to mention the whole girly cycle thing! PMS kills me now in the comfort of air conditioned, closed structures.)

Perhaps one day when Mr. Man is more manly we could make a go at it with the help an experienced hiker friend. Fun to think about.

Unit 1

Despite the fact that it's late-May, our weather is cold. Two days ago we sent our son to child care without a sweatshirt. He came home wearing a school "extra" - a gray hoodie on which the school had written in permanent marker on the front "Unit 1". He was wearing the Unit 1 sweatshirt again tonight when we picked him up and he didn't want to take it off. So we went about our evening with our branded son (all in public places, of course.)

Having been away on business for three days, I was particularly looking forward to spending time with him and was paying very close attention to him. What I saw amazed me. Every day, even the hard ones, it is easy for me to appreciate what a great person he is, but tonight blew me away.

He was at his emotive, intuitive and cognitive best tonight. Every time he opened his mouth his responses delighted, tickled and amazed me. For example:

We were adding more lavender essential oil to the diffuser in our car. He likes to smell the oil, so we handed him the cap to sniff. He asked us why we used the smelly stuff and we said that lavender helps us find balance. He went on sniffing and playing with the cap and then he said, "This will help balance when I ride the scooter."

He is thoughtful and intelligent and imaginative and I am so proud of him. Tonight I felt like we were best friends and that we were connecting on the same level. Whether he's mature or I'm childish, I don't know or care. I caught a glimpse into his personality that I haven't seen wholistically before. Watching him unfold is a blessing.

An Evening with Kevin Smith

So, media-moron or not, I can sort out some great thinking when I see it. To celebrate the end of a semester, we rented An Evening with Kevin Smith (two whole DVDs of fun!). It's just so damned refreshing! I should buy this just to have on hand for those days when I'm looking at life just a little too seriously.

As those who love me know, that happens too often.

Wind, More

Tonight the wind was both helper and hindrance. I increased to the next level on my training program (the goal being to finish a 5k in August). While I ran east the wind was helper, but on the long trip back home the wind turned on me. Good news was that I exceeded my goal for the night, so I was pleased.

As I increase my running regimen, I find myself haunted by the summer of 1998 and all the intricacies of my life then - three lovers, only one of whom was healthy and made me happy, rocky roads with my partner, the death of my partner's grandmother and the best physical health of my life. That time was complicated and sad, although I didn't realize it until things fell apart.

I'm thrilled to find myself on the other side with my relationship surviving well and now one of the most satisfying aspects of my life. Now I find myself running with the content feeling that I run home to something whole, instead of running from things that were falling apart back then. If only I knew this were possible, I wouldn't have waited six years to start running again.