Celebrating Sente

A good friend, Sente, recently celebrated his 40th birthday. This is a story of our friendship and my gratitude.

Sente and I have been through a lot together since I first met him more than two years ago. In fact, our friendship started to grow at the most unusual time--when he and my wife were ending their relationship. My wife's struggle with chronic migraines started during her relationship with Sente and he and I were the only two adults who watched that from an intimate perspective. Sente was an invaluable source of support to me, in particular, and showed much kindness to my family by helping in small, yet significant, ways. From car rides to child care pickups to kind words of encouragement, his support was helpful as we adapted to our changing lives.

As the relationship between Sente and my wife deteriorated and ultimately ended, things became tenuous. How would or could I remain friends with my wife's ex-partner in the midst of the hurt feelings that come with difficult breakups? I was actually not sure. We had one difficult discussion over coffee where we each said our peace and accepted an uncertain future where our friendship was concerned. It took some time, but we slowly found a way to salvage our friendship from the wreckage of a difficult ending.

In part, I believe it is because we committed to a friendship based on what we like about each other. I think we started to know each other in better and new ways after the breakup. I remember for a while we wouldn't discuss my wife and in the process, we began to focus on each other and nurture our friendship.

Sente is nothing if not encouraging. From my own relationships to professional challenges, he is my biggest cheerleader. I cherish our evenings out because inevitably he will give me the pep talk I need to convince me to take a stab at dating or pursue more fulfilling work. Sente is a kind, thoughtful and loyal friend.

I appreciate that he shares his stories and struggles with me and that I get to return the favor to listen and offer my own bit of wisdom. I am grateful that our friendship has blossomed into a supportive, fun and meaningful part of my life.

Here's to 40, Sente! I hope that you enjoy many more healthy years. I am honored to be your friend.